the sounds of peace and safety

Transition: Passage from one form, state, style, or place to another.

Transitions fill a person's life. The transition from childhood to adolescence, adolescence to adulthood. The transition from single to married. The transition from wrecked to saved by grace.

Recently, my life has been one of transitions: into my current job, through a time of suffering, becoming a youth leader, a new job for my husband. 

Transition is difficult, and the aforementioned transitions have all been difficult for me. I've questioned them all multiple times. I've wondered if I am where God would truly want me to be. I've regretted every recent choice. I've over-thought it all. And I come back to the same point: God has a plan, no matter my choices, and His plan will occur no matter what I do to thwart it.

He has brought me to these transitions. I have sought His wisdom through these transitions, and while He does not always speak clearly in the way I would like, while He is often silent, I do believe I have followed His steps.

For so long, I felt distant from Him. And I do still struggle with distance, mainly because I often keep myself distant from Him, I can feel Him coming near. I can feel Him in these transitions, through the pain and through the joy.

I am spending more time with Him. I am doing my best to lean into Him and trust only in Him. I am doing my best to stand still and silent during this time so that He can have his way. That's what I want: for Him to have His way with me and with my life.

And in this time of transition, in this time of suffering, in this time of struggle, in this time of uncertainty, I want Him to strip away the parts of me that are not of Him so that I can be overflowing with Him and His love. I want Him to be what shines through me. Because it is not about me; it is about Him and His plan and His purpose and His overwhelming, perfect LOVE.

(title from "i will run" by misty edwards)