the proof that i leave

With the start of the new year, there have been reflections on the past 365 days and resolutions made. Others have mentioned the word they want 2013 to embody.

I thought about a word for 2013 but honestly I couldn't think of a word. I don't want 2013 to be about just one specific part of my life - be it my health, my relationship with God, or work. I want 2013 to be a year all about everything.

We celebrated the coming of the new year with friends, drinks, and good food. We sat around the dining room table and discussed our hopes for the new year. As I listened to everyone else, it struck me just how big of a year 2013 will likely be.

I've done a lot in my 27 years. The past year has been a year that has changed me and shaped me - all for the better. It has been a year that has reignited my love for social work and foster care. It has been a year that has reminded me how important love is to the world. It has been a year that God has been present in the darkest moments and in the brightest moments.

I have the feeling that 2013 is going to further change my life. I don't know exactly how that will happen or what that means. I just know that 2013 is going to be a major year.

And with it being such a major year, I can't assign just one word to it. But I've found a song that embodies what I want the year to be. A song that embodies what I want my life to be.

I stumbled upon it a few months ago, and it has stuck with me ever since. I hear it in my head randomly and remember the lyrics when things seem tough.  It's the song that I would have written if I were any good at writing lyrics and could put notes to paper.

It's called "I Was Here" by Beyonce.
The words are everything I want my life to be. They're everything I've always wanted my life to be. I may not change the world. And that's okay. But to make even the smallest impact on another life? That's why I'm here. Why I think we're all here.

2013 will be the year I lose weight. 2013 will be the year I write more. 2013 will be the year I love harder and better. 2013 will be the year I lean into and trust God with everything. 2013 will be the year I make a difference, the year I leave my mark, the year I gave my all and did my best. The year I leave the world a little better just because I was here.

What will your 2013 be?
(title from "i was here" by beyonce)

more than i thought it would be

I don't know where to start. So much has changed over the past several weeks. So much continues to change.

We placed our house up for sale and accepted an offer less than two weeks later. Closing is set for the end of this month, and yesterday, we signed a contract to begin building a new house.

It's terrifying and exciting. We really didn't think we would be in a position to begin work on other home. Nor did we think we would want to go from owning one home and then almost immediately owning a second home.

These decisions have been made with lots of thought and lots of prayer. So far, things have happened just as we have prayed they would. The offer coming within two weeks. The offer being what we wanted it to be. The new house being in an area we like and being enough space for us to enjoy and grow into.

It's not our dream house - yet.

To be honest, it's not a house I ever would have considered building or purchasing even two months ago. It's a blank slate, a little more cookie-cutter than I thought I would have liked. But it has the layout I love and gives me an opportunity to spend time decorating and painting. I can't wait for it to become my newest project.

A year ago, I never could have imagined myself in this position. I'm making progress in my weight loss goals by doing 5ks (though I still walk most of them) and spending three hours a week with a trainer. I'm working two jobs I love. I'm growing in my marriage and my spiritual walk.

This is the good life.

(title from "i was here" by beyonce)