The 7 Challenge - Day Four {Food}

I thought the 7 Challenge was going to be easy. Not to put Jen Hatmaker down or anything (because her book made it obvious that it wasn't easy). For whatever reason, I decided it was going to be easy.

Not easy as in I could do this every day. But easy in the sense that I wouldn't have to stretch myself too far. There would be some hard days but overall I would feel accomplished. I would overcome. I would succeed at the 7 Challenge without breaking a sweat.

Y'all, it is only Day 4 and already I am wishing I were doing The 7 Experiment, not The 7 Challenge, and only eating 7 foods for one week. Because that would only be three more days. I would have a rough time surviving those three days, but it would only be three days. Instead, I have 27 more days.

27 more days, y'all. THAT'S NINE TIMES MORE THAN JUST THREE DAYS.

Clearly I'm losing it. The headaches are setting in. My stomach is a little upset over avocados every day and plain chicken. I'm missing Diet Coke something fierce. I'm having long, internal monologues over what constitutes as bread.

For example, while I was driving around the city today, I had the following conversation:
What's for lunch today? Chipotle sounds good. I could eat a burrito bowl without the rice. Even though rise and bread are similar. They're both made from a grain. And if I got brown rice, it would be like eating whole wheat bread since they're both brown. But then I couldn't get tomatoes because I said tomatoes OR bread. And I just don't think I can do chicken, tomatoes and guacamole only. Unless... Could I make lettuce look like spinach when I took a picture of it? After all, spinach and lettuce are both green leafy vegetables.

That's nuts. Rather than deal with any guilt about what I might eat at a restaurant, or have to physically restrain myself from ordering a Diet Coke, I proceeded to drive home and ate a lovely chicken breast with smashed avocado on top of it.

It was delicious. Or at least that's the story I'm sticking to.

Oh how I wish I could say that this is the first time I've ever incorrectly assumed something would be easy. But it's not. Rather it's been a running theme in my life for the past few years.

I thought weight loss would be easy.

I thought recovering from knee surgery would be easy.

I thought, having been a social worker for 5+ years, that foster parenting would be easy.

Those things have been and continue to be difficult. And I've tried everything I can think of to take the easy way out.

With weight loss, I've tried South Beach, I've tried Weight Watchers, I've tried Herbalife. And nothing's worked. It's not that anything is wrong with those programs. I've just tried to make them into something they're not.

About a week before the 7 Challenge started, my loving husband came to me and said he was concerned. He has watched me try and fail and then sometimes try again (and sometimes not try again). He knows my heart. He knows me.

I ignored him and told him this time it was different. That the 7 Challenge was not about weight loss. It was about Jesus.

I am eating my words now, y'all. That's probably the only reason I'm not switching to The 7 Experiment versus The 7 Challenge. It's probably the one thing that stopped my internal monologue today and guided me home for lunch.

There's no way I will make it through this next month if I lean only on myself or try to just white knuckle it. And I have to stop looking forward at the months to come and instead focus on the month of right now.

I can apply that to my entire life, really.

Nothing is going to be "easy" but the hard work will be well worth it. Jesus is much better than my own strength (and much, much stronger) so it's better to depend on Him. And I am here right now. It's time to enjoy the right now and not just think about the what next.

The 7 Challenge - Day Three {Food} + What 7 is Teaching Me about Foster Care

{Please note: I wrote most of this post before I took a nap on the couch last night and then forgot to wake up until this morning.}

Can I be completely honest? I ask because there's always that part of me that doesn't feel quite right with opening up. And I ask because I need to remind myself that it's okay to be open and honest with things.

The past few months have been incredibly hard for me. I've heard it said that becoming a foster parent forces you to realize the things you both like and dislike about yourself the most. I can attest to just how true of a statement this is. And even though we're not currently fostering, we're still foster parents, and I can tell you that I continue to realize just how much there is for me to work on.

There's a huge push in Oklahoma for more foster parents. The number of children in state custody is outrageous, and there are not enough beds for any of them. Not only that but there are over 300 children simply waiting for an adoptive home, 300 children hoping someone will want them and call them theirs.

And it's good. It's good that so many want more to foster. It's good that the Church is rising up. It's good that there's talk of how non-foster parents can support those who are called to foster.

But foster care is hard. When you open up your home, you also open up your life. And not just the present moments and the future moments, but the past as well. A past that you, as the foster parent, have to have dealt with at some level. A past that has made you who you are. A past that may be vastly different, or eerily similar, to the children placed in your care.

You also realize just how much you need people. I'd guess that it's the same for biological parents and adoptive parents.

I don't like needing people. Sure I enjoy friendships and laughter. I enjoy deep, heartfelt conversations. But I don't like having to open up my life in such a way that when I call I have to do so to ask for help. It eats at me and sticks with me for weeks. Or it used to. I can't say I actually enjoy those calls now, but I'm more okay with them than I ever really thought I would be.

I need to be healthy, too. That's why the 7 Challenge is so important to me right now. I've lost weight since starting it on Tuesday. And I feel better. I also feel like I'm starting to get more clarity. Amazing how that works.

I don't think I've necessarily been completely unhealthy during our journey with foster care. I just don't think I was fully prepared. But I also don't think anyone can ever be fully prepared.

We've been talking a lot about when we'll start fostering again. We've discussed ages, numbers of kids, and how it will effect our lives. And y'all, I'm ready. But I am also terrified. Not because of the thought that they may leave (that's not under my control so I just have to trust that God always knows best). And not because of how exhausting it will be. It's a terror that stems from one simple thought (or not so simple thought): what if I'm not good enough?

That's where this sudden need to simplify comes into place. It strips me of all the items I've found identity in. It strips me of all the preconceived notions I have about how life is supposed to be. 7 is helping me to focus on now. To focus on who I am in Christ and to let who I am in Christ be who I am always.

7 isn't easy. Neither is foster care. None of it is. But that doesn't mean it isn't still worth it.

The 7 Challenge - Day Two {Food}

Apparently, I can not say no to Turkey Tom's from Jimmy John's, Potato Chips from Jimmy John's or Oatmeal Raisin Cookies. I can, however, say no to bottled diet coke and diet dr. pepper. I'll celebrate that small victory over commiserating my failing to stick to the allowed foods.

The day started off early and well. I had a meeting in Tulsa, so I was on the road by 6am - all so I could see Laurie's shining face. And eat homemade scrambled eggs with grape tomatoes (which were delicious). If only I could have (or would have) packed a lunch instead of simply eating what was provided at the day's meeting.

I also consumed more coffee than initially planned. And some of it came from Starbucks (in the morning) and McDonald's (in the afternoon). I figured the money spent on much needed caffeine, which resulted in my being able to stay awake for the entire drive, was well worth it.

I felt a lot of weightiness today. A lot of thoughts about how am I going to do this for 30 days. Wondering if I can even make it through this month let alone the six that follow. I could choose to do each challenge for only a week, but I feel so convicted in needing to do all seven for a month each. It's time to leave my comfort behind.

There's only way I am going to make it through this month and the months that follow. And that only way? Lots of prayers. The trouble with that is that I struggle with my prayer life. I don't want to struggle, but sometimes (a lot of times) it feels as though nothing is happening. I get distracted by the million thoughts running through my head. I feel selfish for praying through things. And I feel like I'm not quite "Christian" enough for my prayers to matter.

But I know they do matter. There's no such thing as needing to be a super Christian for your prayers to be answered. It's time I release that mindset, forget about the wonders over whether or not I measure up as a Christian, and simply pray.

That's what I worked on driving back from Tulsa. Or at least it's what I planned to work on. A two-hour trip seemed like the perfect opportunity to pray and let God do some work. Except that as soon as I got in the car, I froze. I had a hard time even thinking through what my prayers would be. And I found myself not so sure about what I wanted from my prayers. Or how I wanted to pray. I overthought every bit of it.

And then, I stopped at McDonald's where I ordered a large, vanilla iced coffee, considered eating Chicken McNuggets and settled for a low-fat ice cream cone instead. That was a reminder of why it's time to turn to 7 and to turn away from excess.

It's the excess that's blocking me. I have too many options, too many ways to distract myself. Too many opportunities to busy myself with things other than prayer. It's time to limit those options, to lessen those distractions, and to just slow down.

There's movement in the Church right now. People clinging to Jesus and asking for radical things to be done. There's change in foster care. And hope for the future. And all of those things are deeply on my heart. But I can not do any of those things alone. I need Jesus.


Food is never going to be enough. Not even the Jesus approved, trans fat free, fried in peanut oil Chik-Fil-A. Not even the avocados I am still excited to consume. And never the gloriousness that is Jimmy John's #4.

But Jesus? He's enough. More than enough. He's everything I need.

The 7 Challenge - Day One {Food}

I didn't cheat today. Even without having any real groceries in the house this morning. And even though I was running late all day. Even when I went to the grocery store, on the 1st, at 2:00pm without having eaten lunch.

Guess that means I can just stop the challenge now. I overcame every single challenge that could possibly present itself. Right?

Oh. Wrong. I'm not doing this challenge to prove something to myself or to overcome things. I'm doing this challenge to move a little bit closer to Jesus. Guess that means I'm not quite done.

It took me a little while to figure out what 7 foods I was going to eat. And by a little while I mean a few weeks.

Starting this challenge wasn't something I just decided to do on a whim. It's something I have considered ever since I first read Jen Hatmaker's book about 9 months ago. And even though I've had plenty of excess (hello buying a new house, new car, new MacBook, new iPhone, new iPad mini, and the list goes on), I've constantly thought about simplifying. I just have never really done anything about it. Until now.

Jen Hatmaker admits that she is an extremist. And I am too. God often has to hit me over the head with a 2x4 multiple times for me to get something. And even after I get it, I often forget it. Then the process starts over again.

I've been extreme with weight loss (hello South Beach and Herbalife) and seen traction in the way of weight loss. I've been extreme also with weight gain (hello Chik-Fil-A and Panera Bread every single day for a week). But I've never been extreme with simplifying. And I figured now is as good a time as any to use my extremeness for something good. I figured now is the best time to let God work through the extremeness.

These are the thoughts that have been in my head for months. I just quieted them with vanilla lattes, diet cokes, and macaroni and cheese. But at some point, thoughts like these simply can't be quieted. Also, oddly enough, at some point your hips get a bit too wide for all your pants.

I know this is the right time to do the challenge because I have prayed about it. God has orchestrated it all (including blessing me with other people who will be miserable right along with me). It doesn't mean that the timing is what I would have picked. But I'm not Jesus, so I don't know best.

Jesus knows best. And Jen Hatmaker knows best when it comes to which foods to eat for a whole month. I am following her lead and eating the same 7 foods but with a few exceptions.

My foods are: Chicken (of any kind) - Can season with olive oil, salt and pepper. Maybe a little garlic. May also eat chicken sausage. Avocados (guacamole is included). Spinach. Apples. Eggs. Sweet potatoes. Tomatoes OR Bread (can have one or the other but can not consume at the same time).

This morning I ate three eggs. For lunch, I ate two avocados, a whole package of all natural chicken lunch meat, and a piece of fresh baked bread (from the grocery store not from my house). For dinner, we had spinach (which I BLANCHED!), sweet potatoes, and roasted chicken thighs. And then I ate an apple for dessert.

All of my food tasted like real food. I bought everything organic, and as much as I hate to admit this, there is a huge difference. Apples taste like apples. And the spinach was so good. The chicken... My husband said he would be okay with eating the chicken a lot which is good since it's going to be my only meat option for the next month.

I also have more energy. Amazing what lots of water (even if it does have flavor added to it) and real food will do, huh?

I started the day with quiet time, and I am going to end it the same way. Because ultimately I am making more room for Him. I'm making space so that He can work in me and speak to me. I'm cleaning out the cobwebs and turning from all the things I've used to block Him out.

"I won't box Him in or assume I know what He'll say. I'm not going to project my goals onto His movement. I have simply said: "Jesus, may there be less of me and my junk and more of You and Your kingdom." I will reduce, so He can increase." - Jen Hatmaker, 7