how hard it is to make it look so easy

Following a week of being sick, I planned on getting out of bed by 5:00am and heading straight to the gym. I wanted my Monday to start off with thirty minutes on the elliptical and thirty minutes of strength training. But after a restless night's sleep, I chose to change the alarm for 6:25am and cuddle with our two dogs.

Spending my lunch hour at the gym had always been my plan for Monday. I debated getting onto the elliptical then since I missed my chance that morning, but spin class called out to me. And I answered.

I finished thirty minutes of spin class and burned over 300 calories. And then I dismounted and headed for the weights. While I wanted to last the entire hour of spin class, I couldn't do it. I felt too weak, and my heart rate was staying too high - making it quite difficult to breathe.

My hope had been that I would walk back into the gym and be able to do all the things I did before getting sick. But a week away from the gym, a week spent resting on the couch and eating too much frozen yogurt, made that hope fail.

I never thought that a week could so drastically change me, but it did.

I appreciate the strength I have gained so much more now. While I was defeated for a moment, I am now thankful for the time I have spent at the gym so far. And I'm excited to regain my old strength and increase it now that I'm on antibiotics and getting over being so sick it was hard to move.

This is where patience comes in handy. I need to wait and allow things to take their time. I need to accept that things will not always be exactly how I want them to be. But when you are forced to be patient, you tend to learn a lot more. At least that's how it is for me.

I may not have conquered two work outs today, but I left the office and headed straight to the gym at lunch. I may not have made the whole one hour spin class, but I listened to my body and did what was best for me. I may not have been able to lift as much weight, but I still lifted.

After burning over 500 calories, and watching what I ate throughout the day, I enjoyed Mexican food and conversation with my husband and two friends. Instead of ignoring the chips and queso, I enjoyed it but did not ask for more queso. Instead of eating a salad, I stayed with my tried and true chicken quesadillas. It's been months since I ate real Mexican food, and while it probably negated my work out for the day, I walked out of the restaurant with more patience and more gratitude for the fact that I got back into the gym after seven days of being sedentary.

I'm learning just how much of a say I have in my own life. Things will always happen. There will always be responsibilities that need to be met. But it's up to me to decide how to respond to those things that happen. It's up to me to have the right attitude while meeting responsibilities. Just like it was up to me to make it to the gym at least once on Monday.

Just like it will be up to me to make it to the gym at least once today and tomorrow and the next day.

(title from "easy" by rascal flatts & natasha bedingfield)