ask and you will receive whatever you need

Sometimes I go to church, and I don't feel anything. I wonder why I am there and if the message is meant for me. Sometimes I even wish I had stayed in bed at home. I shouldn't feel those things but sometimes I do.

Other times, I go to church, and I feel so much -- too much to put into words really. And I know, with every fiber of my being, that God is opening my ears and my heart to His words. I know that I am right where I need to be.

It was the other time today. The words preached out of John 7 convicted me and blessed me. They reminded me of my shortcomings and of God's grace.

And they made me feel more thankful for where I am. I also realized just how far we have come and just how much He is blessing us. Our prayers have been answered in a big, huge way. A way that only He could do when we open ourselves up to Him.

I'm often the person in my own way.. and the person in God's way. I have my hands in everything, and I fear that everything will fall apart if I let go. God's working on that right now. He is giving me time off to rest and pain in my foot to remind me to just stop every now and then. He is peeling away the layers and showing me that the things we have (our marriage, good jobs, a new house being built after we sold our old house, amazing friends) are gifts from Him and nothing that came from me.

That sort of realization knocks me off my feet and onto my butt. It's the sort of realization I need every few months.

I'm blessed to live the life I do. And I have never felt as blessed as I do right now. Because I know God has worked through all of our struggles. I know He has been constant as we have followed an unknown path. And I know that He has seen every failing and every success. I also know that He has always known where it would lead, and I am so very excited for where it is that we are going.

I am so very thankful for a God who is completely in control and loves me enough to invite me into His plan. And who also loves me enough to let my plans fall apart so that He can give me an even better life and future.

You said, "Ask and you will receive whatever you need." / You said, "Pray and I'll hear from heaven, / And I'll heal your land."

(title from "you said" by shane and shane)