done looking for the critics (week 7)

Today is the last Friday of 2011.

A large part of me is saying good riddance to 2011 and willing it to leave as quickly as possible. I want to forget much of it and move on to 2012 with the hope that 2012 will be the best year yet.

The thing with hoping for a best year is that you have to have sometime to compare it too. And while I am excited for what is to come, I also know I have so much to be thankful for. 2011 taught me so much about life, love, myself, and writing. 2011 helped me to open myself back up to possibilities and friendships.

I may not remember everything about 2011 but there are some things I never want to forget.

In January, I broke my silence after two months of no words. I struggled with letting go.

In February, I considered where God had led us. I thought about where my heart is. I wrote but not as much as I should have.

In March, I started to count my blessings. I celebrated my husband's 25th birthday. God continued to teach me.

In April, I finished telling the story of us. I won a short story contest. I was pushed out of my comfort zone. I attended the 8046 conference.

In May, I worked out in the morning. I wrote a few of the women in my life letters for Mother's Day. I tried to write every day in May but failed.

In June, I celebrated 15 pounds lost. I thought about just how much can change in a year. I made a list of goals.

In July, I felt stuck. I realized just how hard it is to lose 100 pounds. I continued to struggle with control.

In August, I reconnnected with an old friend. I started the South Beach Diet. I tried to stop comparing my story to other people's stories. I considered the similarities between writing and losing weight.

In September, I revisited the vows my husband and I made. I celebrated three years of marriage. I completed a 5K to raise awareness for suicide prevention.

In October, I started a weekly series. I celebrated six months of weight loss. I wanted to quit but kept going instead. I burned 989 calories in one day.

In November, I made it back into the gym. I celebrated the small things. I won the Steel Ovaries Award.

In December, I opened myself up to 2012. I contemplated what Christmas really means to me. I started to see myself the way others see me. I began a bucket list. I admitted to my lack of time in the gym.

Looking back, I realize just how much good there was in 2011. I see the thread that held it all together. I recognize the lessons I was meant to learn and realize the growth that came form the struggles. I feel God's presence in all of it. And I'm so thankful to have had the chance to look back and remember.

Now it's time to look forward and make 2012 the best year it can possibly be.

What do you remember about 2011?

(title from "f*ckin' perfect" by pink)