I'm also feeling a tad bit guilty regarding the two Pumpkin Spice Latte's I drank - one from Starbucks and one from McDonald's.
And I'm tired.
Hangry, guilty, and tired. All on the last day of the first week of month one of the seven month 7 challenge. Or all on the first day of the second week of month one of the seven month 7 challenge. One brings me closer to the end, so I guess it's a glass half full way of looking at things.
Hangry, guilty, and tired doesn't really bode well for the west of the upcoming week or for the rest of the month. It's a far cry from the joy I felt this weekend. Instead, it's steeped in reality. A reality of saying no to yet another placement - this one an emergency situation for four children. The reason we said no? I had class all night.
After class, I overwhelmed Justin with the need to figure out what we're doing with foster care. I want to know what ages, which gender, and when right this moment (or right that moment). Guess what? We still don't know.
This is when I need a direct line to God where I know He'll pick up and verbally respond to my questions. This is when I also need to take a moment and just breathe and remember that God's just a bit bigger than I am and might know exactly what His plan for my life is.
I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine today, during the twenty-minute break from class when I left my house in search of coffee. I was driving home with the McDonald's Pumpkin Spice Latte (since we live in the suburban country and the one local coffee shop closes at 8pm) and we were discussing writing.
I let her know I was jealous of her writing. And that I was glad I was her friend before she made it big because then I can really be her friend. (I also told her how excited and proud I am of her lest you think I am really that inconsiderate.)
And she said she loved getting to see me live out my passions. I glossed over that statement (sorry, Laurie) and went on to talk about how I was also passionate about writing and how hard it was to not be able to just do everything all at once. But I considered her words through class and then after class. Because I am living out my passions. I am living out my calling. I am stretching myself at work and in school and stepping into roles I never knew I would play.
I'll pick writing back up eventually (novel writing that is). And maybe something will happen with it in the not so distant future. Until then, though, I'm going to try to remember to breathe and allow myself to live in the moment God has for me.
I'm also going to try to not be so hangry all of the time. But no promises on that one.