why i will never say never again

I tend to be more of a black and white person. Things either are or they aren't. Simple as that.

Except it isn't as simple as that. There is more of a grey area than there are black and white areas. And that grey area is where I need to spend more time.

If I could learn anything when I was younger, it would be to never say never. Because the word never is an ugly word, a word that will make you eat all those things you said in the past. And even though I've heard from others to never say never, I just did not think it had any place in my own life.

I used to say (repeatedly) that I never wanted children. I also said I would ever get married. That I never wanted to get to a point where I would stay home from work. That I would never want to live in the suburbs.

Now, I'm married. I actually want children. And I live in the suburbs. So far, I'm three for four. And I'm a completely different person now than I was at the ripe age of 21 and 22.

While I regret saying never for myself, I truly regret saying never to other people. The word of never, when talking about what I don't want, hurts other people.

If I say I never want something, it means that I think it is wrong for my own life. And, even though I never realized it as a younger 20-something, it comes across as me thinking things are wrong for other people.

I regret all the times I said I never. And if I could go back, I would take all those things back. But I can't go back; I can only go forward.

And going forward I am going to stop saying never. Going forward I am going to be open to what the future holds instead of focusing just on what I think I want in the moment.


  1. Leslie, this is such a great lesson! I think anytime you are analyzing how your words affect other people, that shows a TON of maturity and growth. We don't realize how much words can do. I will definitely take this lesson with me, and catch my self when I start hearing the word "never" creep out of my mouth!

  2. Haha, I've said the same things! When I married my pastor-husband (after saying I'd never marry a pastor) I said I would never be the church secretary...which I am!

  3. What a great lesson! You have me asking myself, What am I saying never to right now? Such a great reminder. It was great to "meet" you through the link up! Looking forward to reading and getting to know your blog more. Also, I can't help but comment on this, when I read your title Justin Bieber's Never Say Never song popped in my head. Good times. :)

  4. Love this! Reminds me of a Justin Bieber song - haha! But it is true! I always said I would never do women's ministry and now I primarily minister to women. And I actually love it. Crazy!

  5. couldn't agree more with this post! never say never. great life lesson for all :]

  6. I love this! Using the word "never" never allows room for grace and one thing I've learned is we always should want to leave space for the Holy Spirit to do His mighty work. Saying "never" closes our minds to those possibilities when we should be eagerly waiting on the Spirit to move.



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