we can shatter just as fast

It's nearly 3:30pm and I am snuggled up on the couch, watching last night's episode of The Biggest Loser. I have every intention of staying on the couch for the remainder of the afternoon and evening.

When I first took the rest of the day off, I did it for fun. Now that I'm home and done with my MRI, I know I am home to recover.

The MRI itself wasn't the problem or the hard part. It was the part that came before when they stuck a needle in my knee and filled my knee up with contrast. Hello swelling and pain! It feels like I did when I first hurt my knee back in December.

Driving home, I started thinking about my knees. I've already had surgery on my left knee and on my right knee. I tend to favor my knees a lot out of fear of getting hurt. And now I am favoring my left knee even more.

I'm hopeful that the report will be a good one. I'll find out for sure on Thursday when I go into see the orthopedic surgeon. But if it's not, I will be okay.

While I was being prepped for the MRI, I spoke with the X-Ray technician about weight loss, osteoarthritis, and my jobs. She mentioned that she had a sister who had always struggled with her weight and lost 60 pounds. Then, her sister tore her ACL while playing indoor soccer and gainer all of her weight back.

I couldn't help but think... what if that is me? On the drive home, I decided it wouldn't be me.

I have no idea what's really wrong with my knee. I have spent plenty of time on Google and WebMD to have an idea of what might be wrong. But until I hear it from a doctor, I won't know.

What I do know is that I won't gain weight back if I'm bedridden because of my knee. What I do know is that I'm going to stick to the Weight Watchers plan and watch what I eat. And then, when it's time, I'll spend time working out.

I also know I will probably never be a runner. And I'm sad about that. But it's not the end of the world or the end of my weight loss and healthy living journey.

I can find other activities to do and to enjoy. Maybe I'll finally learn how to ride a bike and spend more time biking - and not just biking in the gym. I can also swim more. And row. And walk. And do a million other things outside of run.

I also know that I will not let my knee steal my joy. It would be easy to be angry and frustrated and feel like the world is out to get me. I refuse to stop my life simply because I am hurt. I refuse to let this define my life. Instead, I am going to look at this as an opportunity.

If I have to have surgery and stay home, then I will spend time writing and blogging. I will blog more about being healthy when injured. I will continue to inspire and be inspired. I will press into God even more and trust in Him.

Nothing is going to stop me from making 2013 a wonderful year. Nothing.

Don't let anything stop you from making 2013 a wonderful year.

PS: Go mingle with Meg!

(title from "be somebody" by thousand foot krutch)