1/07/2013

we can shatter just as fast

It's nearly 3:30pm and I am snuggled up on the couch, watching last night's episode of The Biggest Loser. I have every intention of staying on the couch for the remainder of the afternoon and evening.

When I first took the rest of the day off, I did it for fun. Now that I'm home and done with my MRI, I know I am home to recover.

The MRI itself wasn't the problem or the hard part. It was the part that came before when they stuck a needle in my knee and filled my knee up with contrast. Hello swelling and pain! It feels like I did when I first hurt my knee back in December.

Driving home, I started thinking about my knees. I've already had surgery on my left knee and on my right knee. I tend to favor my knees a lot out of fear of getting hurt. And now I am favoring my left knee even more.

I'm hopeful that the report will be a good one. I'll find out for sure on Thursday when I go into see the orthopedic surgeon. But if it's not, I will be okay.

While I was being prepped for the MRI, I spoke with the X-Ray technician about weight loss, osteoarthritis, and my jobs. She mentioned that she had a sister who had always struggled with her weight and lost 60 pounds. Then, her sister tore her ACL while playing indoor soccer and gainer all of her weight back.

I couldn't help but think... what if that is me? On the drive home, I decided it wouldn't be me.

I have no idea what's really wrong with my knee. I have spent plenty of time on Google and WebMD to have an idea of what might be wrong. But until I hear it from a doctor, I won't know.

What I do know is that I won't gain weight back if I'm bedridden because of my knee. What I do know is that I'm going to stick to the Weight Watchers plan and watch what I eat. And then, when it's time, I'll spend time working out.

I also know I will probably never be a runner. And I'm sad about that. But it's not the end of the world or the end of my weight loss and healthy living journey.

I can find other activities to do and to enjoy. Maybe I'll finally learn how to ride a bike and spend more time biking - and not just biking in the gym. I can also swim more. And row. And walk. And do a million other things outside of run.

I also know that I will not let my knee steal my joy. It would be easy to be angry and frustrated and feel like the world is out to get me. I refuse to stop my life simply because I am hurt. I refuse to let this define my life. Instead, I am going to look at this as an opportunity.

If I have to have surgery and stay home, then I will spend time writing and blogging. I will blog more about being healthy when injured. I will continue to inspire and be inspired. I will press into God even more and trust in Him.

Nothing is going to stop me from making 2013 a wonderful year. Nothing.

Don't let anything stop you from making 2013 a wonderful year.

PS: Go mingle with Meg!

(title from "be somebody" by thousand foot krutch)

3 comments:

  1. Hey Leslie! I love biking! It's so much fun and not hard on knees. You should learn to bike. Great post today! Esther Norine Designs

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  2. Hey girl! I totally feel for you! I have had a few knee issues myself and though they suck, youre totally right in the sense that it will only hold you back if you let it. Keep pushing forward! There are so many things you can do even if your knee is hurt. I am a physical therapist and often have to change up people's workouts due to an injury or something. Here are some options:

    Water! Even as little as flutter kicking (knees in full extension) at the edge of the pool will give you a work out. Water walking and water running is also an option.

    Lifting upper body. A lot of lifts you can do sitting down- an option when you are unable to weightbear or just not comfortable with standing.

    You can do it!! We are all behind you!
    Jyndia
    http://findingmyownway10.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good for you, keep up the good work. Wishing you a good report from the doctor.

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