i will be still

picture found here.

Last night, my husband and I drove north to Edmond and experience worship and a sermon. The worship was led by Jami Smith, a local Christian artist. I've seen Jami Smith perform on one other occasion - outside in Livingston, TX during one of the summers I worked at a camp. Her lyrics are heartfelt, and when you watch her perform, you see Jesus.

Having seen her before made me want to arrive on time to the event. While there were ups and downs and a battle with our toilet earlier in the morning, we made it just in time. My heart was moved by the Lord with worship. I felt Him continuing to stir my heart, continuing to remind me that He has a plan and a purpose for this season in my life. He told me over and over that my worries and struggles and fear were not in vain.

After worship, we fellowshipped with friends and also with others we did not know. We snacked on cheese and crackers, fruit and vegetables, and sipped pink lemonade. Then it was time for the sermon.

Earlier last week, I wrote about my desire to simplify. I mentioned the book The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical by Shane Claiborne. Last night, we listened to Shane Clairborne speak. He talked about living our lives out as ordinary radicals and shared some of the stories from his book as well as other stories. When I wrote the post on October 12th, I did not know days later I would have a chance to hear Shane Claiborne speak. I think, though, the thoughts placed on my heart on Monday were God's way of beginning to prepare me for Saturday night.

After he shared, there was a chance to ask questions and hear his responses. God told me to ask a question, though I wasn't sure what to say. Mine was the last question. The burden was heavy but evidently the Lord. I mentioned my work as a social worker and asked about how to not become hardened with the work of serving others as well as how he has (or if he has) seen a change in families who are struggling within his community. His answer was one I needed to hear, and afterwards, my husband and I had a chance to speak to him outside of the sanctuary.

It's rare to speak with someone and feel like you are in the presence of God. There are many times on Sunday mornings, when we listen to the sermon on Sunday morning and participate in worship, that I am aware of God's presence in the room. But last night was one of the first times I saw Jesus shining through another individual. It was evident how much He was working in and through Shane's life.

I want that. I want to do away with the things of this world and allow for Jesus to shine through. I may not be destined for the life Shane Claiborne leads, but I know God is calling me to lay everything else down. And I am hopeful that with His strength and grace, I will be able.

This morning, Shane Claiborne is preaching at a Methodist church in Norman, and this afternoon, he will speak at Oklahoma City University. We plan to attend the event at Oklahoma City University this afternoon.

God is still sorting out the things that happened last night. He is still filling me up with Him and pushing out the worldliness I lived in for much my life. There is much to pray through. Like so many other times, as well, it is likely that I will not understand all that happened last night (or will happen later today) for right away.

I had the chance to talk through much of it with my husband in the car last night. His heart was equally stirred. He felt an equal calling on his life, a calling which has been occurring over the past several months. Then, I was given the opportunity to speak with a friend who is currently serving overseas. She had seen Shane Claiborne speak as a freshman in college, and it was a blessing to be able to share with her and converse with her about his speaking as well as about the things the Lord is doing in both our lives.

It's not always evident how God is working. I think that's part of His beauty as well as part of the frustration we have. But every now and then, He sheds some light on His ways. I am thankful for those moments and thankful I was given the opportunity to have my heart pierced last night.

(title from "tower" by brad kilman)