out of chaos life is being found

We had the pleasure of worshipping with a new band on Sunday morning. Our church will soon open a second campus in Oklahoma, and the band from this second campus played on Sunday morning. The worship was heartfelt. Watching the band, I could tell their heart was in the right place - with God. Mine wasn't on Sunday morning. To be honest, my heart hasn't been in the right place for the last several days.

It's not for lack of trying. I want my heart to line up with His desires. I want to shake off the negativity, the worry, the endless questions and just rest in His promises and His presence.

I think He's working in me right now. In fact, I know He is. I can feel Him pushing aside so many things and doing His best to show me what is important in life. He's providing me with the choice to stop and watch His work or to keep going and miss His calling.

I am doing my best to stop and watch. I am praying for patience, for understanding, for a chance to stand still. I am journaling and hoping.

One of the songs from Sunday speaks of how God is making beautiful things out of the dust and out of us. I listened to it twice last night before falling asleep and have played in at least ten twenty times this morning. The lyrics are calming my nerves, reminding me I am not the only one who feels like dust, who wonders if anything worthwhile will grow from the garden of my life. The lyrics are also doing their best to help me to stop and to remember what all He has done so far.

flowers in fishtown, mi
  I've attempted more silence over the past few days in an effort to hear from God, to be reminded by Him of what He is doing. I have also attempted more whispered prayers. So far, I have not received a response, but I am hopeful. He knows what He is doing. So for now, I wait to see what will spring up from the ground.

(title from "beautiful things" by gungor)

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