a note in which i talk about being wrecked

I don't do well with being still. Or quiet. I kind of like to be a tornado of to-do lists, people to serve, money to make and plans. That's been kicked to the curb over the past few months. As I'm sure y'all know. I can hear you saying/thinking: we know; you had knee surgery. MOVE ON already.

This isn't a post about my recovery. So you can go ahead and let out a sigh of relief.

Really this isn't a true post. Because I have no flipping clue what to say. All I know right now (and God keeps reminding that I don't really know ANYTHING) is that my life is being flipped upside down.

You remember the guest post on The Closet Project? Well I feel like I need to give away almost everything I own. I also feel like all the time I have spent chasing things has meant that I've spent even more time running away from my calling and my purpose and the life God wants me to have. The life He has planned. The life He is forcing me into - in the most loving, I am going to do whatever I have to to get you to slow down way.

I'm wrecked right now. By a bunch of videos I posted on Twitter. By this immense love I have for foster care and adoption. By the way my life looks nothing like what I thought it would.

And I'm terrified. Because I know my husband and I.. we're being called to do some radical, life changing things. Things that will make people think what the hell are they thinking? Things that make no sense.

But I am also excited. For the future. For my relationship with God. Because He is placing people and things where they need to be. He is helping me to network. He is creating new relationships for us and strengthening old relationships.

So I need prayer. Prayer for peace because this stuff's about to get real. There's going to be no running away. No hiding. No pretending I don't hear God calling me. Prayer for direction. Prayer for God to clear the way.

I'm excited to share more when it's time. But it's just not yet time for all the details to come out. I just had to say something here as a reminder to me that God's a whole lot bigger than I am and that it's time I finally and actually listen to what He has to say.