weight loss wednesday (week 1)

I'm starting over - again.
I feel that's all I ever do. It's been well over a year since I began this journey, and I've still only lost about 40 pounds. I'm so ready to be able to say I am halfway to my goal and down a whole 50 pounds. But I know I have to do the work to win the prize of 50 pounds lost.

Earlier today, I logged back into My Fitness Pal for the first time in months and logged my breakfast, AM snack, and lunch. There's a going away party tonight at the group home, so I know there won't be as many healthy option as I would like. But it is time to stop making excuses about why I can't eat healthy (re: free food) and stop saying no to the ice cream.

So much of my lack of self-control has had to do with the uncertainty and change that currently define my life. We're living with my in-laws, building a brand new house, and still waiting for our old house to close. I'm working two jobs and trying to fit in exercise when I can. Add the fact that I feel a little (okay a LOT) a bit uncertain about my future and feel very out of place in a world where all my friends from high school on are starting families and also out of place because I have no desire to be pregnant ever but instead want to foster/adopt and it all turns into a disaster of eating.

And do I mean eating, Mazzio's pizza buffet has been a constant over the past two weeks. I feel awful after I eat there but turn to it as soon as I feel like my day is too much to handle.

On the other side, I want to eat out every single meal when I'm with my husband. Because it's fun and a great date night. And really who wants a salad when you could have something else?
I can't do these things anymore. I can't turn to food for comfort or fun. I need to see it as fuel. I watch what kind of gas I put in my car, so I need to definitely watch what kind of food I put into my body.
One of the girls I knew in college is also in the midst of a weight loss journey. She’s down 50 pounds, ran 8 miles earlier in the week, and looks incredible. I want to be where she is, but I know I have to do the work she does.

So I’m stealing a post from her and using it for my own benefit. She calls it Healthy Train Tuesday; I’m going to call it Weight Loss Wednesday.

Today’s Weight: 225 (it’s finally time for me to look at that number on the scale and admit it to the world so I no longer let it define me.)

Total Loss: 40 pounds.

What I craved this week: So far I’ve craved pizza (and haven’t eaten it!), popcorn (which I ate a lot of Monday night), diet coke, a hamburger (which I haven’t and WON’T eat), and frozen yogurt (which I ate on Tuesday).

What I noticed was different about my body: I feel better. My liver enzymes are finally back to normal and will STAY that way. No more elevated enzymes or englarged liver for this girl!

Workouts planned for this week: I’m working out with the trainer tonight. And then I’m going to force myself to go to the gym tomorrow morning and Friday morning. Saturday morning I am doing a 3 mile walk around the zoo to raise awareness for suicide prevention.

Personal Goal(s) for this week: Track everything I eat. Limit the amount of carbohydrates I eat. Sweat a whole lot while working out. Drink more water that diet coke. Pray a LOT about EVERYTHING. Stick to it. I have given up so much in my life (weight loss, relationships) when things get tough and I need to prove to myself that I can (and WILL) follow through.

Favorite Quote for this week: You have entered a season of change where old things are ending before new doors will open. These changes will take place on a variety of levels and will produce a sense of discomfort. You might even experience some level of anxiety. But, at the very least you will have that out-of-pocket feeling. Do not overreact to your feelings. This is a period of temporary adjustments along the way, for I am positioning you for greater liberty of body, soul and spirit, says the Lord. Don't be afraid. --Marsha Burns

What I'm looking forward to: No longer being afraid. Believing in myself and rebuilding my confidence. Not giving up with any aspects of my life - no matter how hard it is to stick with it and hang in there.


  1. It's crazy how much of a difference height makes in how your body appears. I'm like 6'0 so 13 pounds seems like nothing, but it makes a huge difference for someone shorter. It's great that you're looking/ feeling better!!
    Cheers, @Brooke

  2. Amazing transformation the only thing that is stopping you lose weight is yourself i have created a website focused on everything weight loss CHECK IT OUT Belly Fat Burner



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