it only takes a spark

Two years ago, I woke up in a hotel room in downtown Oklahoma City. It was a room I shared with my now sister-in-law. We quickly got dressed and then ate a breakfast buffet in celebration. It was my wedding day.

Time was spent eating, getting a pedicure and a manicure, listening to the news on Hurrican Ike (which was lashing my parents home and brothers apartment), praying it would stop raining before our planned outdoor wedding, laughing with friends, having my make-up and hair done, and keeping my nerves in check.

The rain stopped just as my dad walked me down the aisle. Our friends and families were gathered outside under a tent. The cloud cover was perfect for pictures. Our ceremony went flawlessly (other than trying to light the unity candle in Oklahoma wind), and by the end of the day, we were man and wife.

Signing our marriage license.

Today marks more than just two years of marriage. It marks our life together. We've been through our share of ups and downs. Just yesterday we were talking about how easy it would have been to give up and how others might have done just that. We know that this journey we are on is not to be taken lightly. This journey is hard. It's full of uphill battles and downhill fights. It's full of apologies and tears and hugs and laughter. It's full of misunderstandings and holding your tongue. It's full of arguments and understandings. It's work. But it is worth it.

Our two years of marriage have also been full of change, of wondering, of uncertainty, but God has always provided for us. His provisions have not always come in the way we expected, but they have been there. He has been there. And without Him, it's doubtful we would have come this far.

Over the past two years, we've moved twice: once into an apartment and once into a house. We've found and stayed at a church. We've traveled to Costa Rica and to Michigan. We've spent weekends in Fort Worth and weekends at home. We've changed jobs three times between the two of us. We rescued a dog from the shelter in May 2009 and rescuded a second dog off the street in December 2010. We have survived several snow/ice storms. We've laughed. We've cried.

Our first house.

We have learned how to cook somewhat decent food and not burned down the house. We started to figure out what it meant to truly depend on God. We've talked about the future and what we would change about the past if we could. We have regretted buying our house and then found a newfound love for our house. We bought a car and then regretted buying that car. We've learned how to learn from our regrets rather than wallowing in our regrets. We've learned that, even if it's hard and even if we fight, we can make it through anything.

I firmly believe the things in life that are the most worthwhile are also often times the hardest things to attain. Without fighting for something, really fighting for it, I doubt you can truly appreciate it's worth.

As we embark on our third year of marriage, I am determined to fight for my husband. To shut my mouth when necessary and to hear his heart. I am determined to dream with him even if others tell us our dreams are unattainable. I am determined to support him and to love him the way he needs and desires. I am determined to be content where we are but never complacent. I am determined to pray for him daily. I am determined to fellowship with him and to laugh with him (even when his jokes aren't funny). I am determined to make this marriage last.

Christmas 2009.

(title from "sweetness in starlight" by matt wertz)