making me feel right

the front of our house in process.

We have an actual house right now. It's no longer just framing and windows. We can't live in it yet, but it is beginning to take shape. The more it comes together the less afraid I become.

And I have been afraid. Last week, I couldn't sleep on Friday night. I was too worried about colors and windows and lighting and furniture and all these questions. Did I make the right choices? Was this all a mistake? Could we even afford a new house?

This isn't my dream house. My dream house is nestled in Norman, OK and out of my price range. But this is the house I will be able to dream in. It's a house of over 2,000 square feet and three bedrooms. A house that will propel me from one stage of life into the next. A house that will cover us in warmth and cool us down when we need it.

We're still a month or so away from moving in, but already I've learned so much from this house and the process we've gone through to get to where we are right now. It's all been by the grace of God.

I've learned (and am still learning) to just trust the process. I've learned to see God as sovereign. I've learned that God really does work all things together for the good of those that love and trust Him. This blessing has shown me that. I've learned that there will always be work to do and that not everything will be perfect but that's a good, God thing. Because if things were perfect, we would just rest in that and never try to grow or change.

I've seen just how blessed we are. We're living with my husband's parents right now - awaiting the time when we can move into our new home. Our dogs are loved and cared for, and we go to bed every night warm or cool - whichever we need to be to sleep comfortable. We're able to save money like we've never been able to before and that has allowed us the chance to breathe and to dream.

the view from the back porch. our lot ends at
the white post.

Having room to breathe and to dream is allowing me the chance to look into the future with excitement and not fear. We're not ready for a lot of "next steps" right now - like starting a family - but we are inching closer. I never really thought I would be ready but I am right now thanks to this house.

I'm also seeing how this is all a part of God's plan. He knew when it would be time for us to sell our first house. He knew where we would and should settle into our second house. We're moving west. We don't know many people there yet but we do have friends. And we have the open sky and a Christmas tree farm to look at.

It doesn't make sense - how we can somehow get everything in this house - but that's how God works. He just does His thing - even when we don't understand because His way doesn't have to make sense.

(title from "everything has changed" by taylor swift)