what love is

For years, I waited and wished and hoped for a Valentine. Watching friends receive carnations throughout the day, I hoped for it to happen to me. I even went so far to ask friends of mine to be my valentine - just so I would have something. It always backfired on me. I was always did more and tried more and felt like I wasn't special enough.

When I met and started to fall in love with my husband, I had expectations. The expectations weren't necessarily what I wanted but were more what I felt like should happen. Big, over priced bouquets of flowers. A large stuffed animal for good measure. And an expensive dinner.

It's taken me a few years of expectations to realize that expectations are not what I want or need. I don't want too much money spent on things that don't matter. What I want, and what I have, is a husband who loves and adores me and shows me that love in personal ways.

For the past several years, we've done the same thing for Valentine's Day. Or the weekend that surrounds the holiday. Dinner and a movie. It all started on our first Valentine's Day. I didn't think I would see my now husband that day due to school and work and conflicts. And then I walked out to my car, following a long day of caring for babies, and saw him drive up in his car. There was a homemade card for me, and he told me that he had tickets for us to see Definitely Maybe.

We ordered pizza for dinner and ate at my college apartment before heading to the movie.

Our second Valentine's Day together, we were freshly married and had just returned from our honeymoon where we ate, drank, slept, tanned and explored Costa Rica. We saw another movie and ate dinner while we watched it - one of the perks that Texas has that Oklahoma does not is dinner movie theaters.

We enjoyed dinner and a movie for our third Valentine's Day together, and on our fourth Valentine's Day, we had dinner with friends and then watched a movie later.

This is our fifth Valentine's Day together. I woke up this morning and found a card waiting for me in the bathroom. There won't be dinner out tonight or a movie that we go see this weekend. What there will be is a husband who has served me and loved me and cared for me over the past few weeks. There is a husband who has been patient with me and who has made me laugh.

He's shown me what love really is. And it isn't large bouquets of flowers or large boxes of chocolates. It's not jewelry or diamonds or anything else of the sort. It isn't expensive dinners or desserts. All of those things are fine but they are not what defines love or Valentine's Day.

Love is a husband who wakes up throughout the night to help me get up and off the couch.

Love is a husband who buys me flowers to say get well.

Love is a husband who buys me lots of cold medicine when I'm sick and can't take DayQuil.

Love is a husband who does my laundry because I can't.

Love is a husband who lets me control the remote.

Love is a husband who goes out in the cold to get me Chik-Fil-A for dinner.

Love is a husband who prays with me and for me.

Love is a husband who puts me first when I'm unable to care for myself.

Love is a husband who asks for forgiveness and lovingly forgives.

Love is a husband who isn't perfect but strives to be better.

Love is my husband.